I'm a just a girl in the world, 17 in a couple of months. Do you see what I did there with the title?

''Now the music divides
Us into tribes
You choose your side
I'll choose my side''
- Arcade Fire, 'Suburban War'

Does it have to?

Follow if you just came back from Paris where you unwillingly witnessed no less than 3 penises

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 Tyrannosaurus Alan

Discoveries made at the time of Googling T. Alan photos: Did nayyyy realise there was a girl in this band

Discoveries made upon shortly enlarging said photo: Dreadlocks do not equal vagina

In all possible seriousness: Tyrannosaurus Alan, for lack of better words, rock my socks. I caught them opening at the very same Camden Underworld gig as I saw the Mighty, Mighty Skints-tones*

Despite the graveyard slot (opening for their other, more prestigious ska-punk luminaries such as Random hand and Moral Dilemma. It was even too early for seemingly 12-year-old kiddies that permeated the later sets to have to breach their curfues for), I’m most definitely not gonna lie: Tyrannosaurus Alan stole the show.

And NO.

It was NOT just because of their unbelievably cheeky-chappie hot trombonist

It was because of the laddish, 2 tone riffs that sounded like the Arctic Monkeys buggered on Scrumpy Jack. It was because despite the slightly GCSE Anarchism song titles, such as ‘Bombard the BBC’? (Nah, you’re alright thanks), the rousing chorus of the aforementioned song - ‘We’re breaking, we’re breaking down, we’re never backing down, we’re backing out’ - and the others in their too-short set inspired Tourettes fist-pumping in a crowd initially populated by three shuffling hipsters. A couple of songs in, more and more people were bobbing their necks - there was full on mouthing of unknown lyrics by the time the driving, repetitive chorus of gorgeously brassy fan favourite ‘Tunnels’ (‘YOU’RE THE BETTER MAN! YOU’RE THE BETTER MAN!’) rolled around.

And by gum, it was the fucking size of lead singer (rapper, shouter, ringleader) Ollie’s plugs. Man alive**

They are ridiculously underground. Ridiculously so. So ridiculously that i couldn’t even find a single bootlegged 30 second clip of a live show, recorded on a Motorola V220 (remember when EVERYONE had that phone? remember when YOU had that phone?) on SoundCloud, so Please Please Please check out TheirSpace. Listen especially hard and fast to the shabbily recorded but sweetly suburban ‘Cheer Up’

*For all you young ones or non-third waveducated ones, I’m making a Mighty Mighty Bosstones reference. You’ll know it when you hear it, trust :)

**That reminds me - anyone got the stunning Everything Everything’s new album ‘Man Alive’ yet? I’m gagging for it

 THE SKINTS - SAMPLER by BRAINROT_MUSIC_PUBLISHING I went the on a ska-punk mission last weekend The place: Camden’s Underworld - a tiny Tortuga of sweaty, skinny white boys with floppy haircuts crowdsurfing shamelessly on the somewhat broader biceps of colourfully mulleted punks The band: The Skints - a London fourtet (”East Lardarn”, sporadic lead singer Josh Rudge hoarsely enunciates on crowd-pleaser, ‘Up Against the Wall’) , self-described as ”a reggae band that lives in the punk scene”. If you already like the King Blues, Moral Dilemma or Random Hand, it’s a no-brainer, and indeed, proper lead singer Jamie Kyriakides’ (Bob Marley and the) Wailers-esque warbling on the sugary, sunny ‘Bright Girl’ did very much shiver me timbers. This, coupled with keyboardist, melodica player, saxophonist, flautist … Marcia ‘the girl’ Richards’ Lily Allen-lite vocals ensured I had a wholly enjoyable night, skankin out in the sea of sweat and dreadlocks that was the front row Check them out on MySpace, soonish, yeah? Then get their stunning album, ‘Live. Breathe. Build. Believe.’ and listen to ‘Confessions of a Teenage Rudeboy’. On repeat It’s all that’s been keeping me going while my computer’s decided to act like a massive cunny :)
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